Global Warming
Mama used to tell me
Girl, you better load your gun up right
She said ya, ya gotta come out smokin'
Hit it with your best shot every time
I've got my finger on the trigger
Love is in control
--Love is in Control, Donna Summers
________
First Ranger's astute observations, then mine.
"If you want to know why the ice is melting in the Arctic ice pack, just feast your eyeballs on this ad for the ever-popular AK-47, featured in Guns & Ammo, October 2007.
Note the polar bear hat!
Yes, Ranger wants to see more!
And he wants one. Two would probably be better."
Lisa's deconstruction of the ad:
As with all of these ads, the women have the best boobs money can buy. Their head is always cocked slightly awry, mouth agape. It says, I want to fellate your big weapon, and the angle of my head will facilitate entry. Invariably, they are fingering the trigger.
Note the 5-inch heels she's tottering on -- falling off of, actually. She might not be very grounded, but hey, she's got a gun.
The confluence of guns and sex is ubiquitous in these publications hawking weapons. This is where it gets too esoteric for me; I s'pose seeing something bloody and writhing or dead is an aphrodisiac to some. Maybe, just seeing or imagining yo' big man with his high-powered sight send some critter to his maker imbues him with a god-like power (transference). Probably, it is just that I.O. Inc. is paying her the big bucks to look both vacuous and inviting -- that lethal combination.
Perhaps for the man, he thinks the fact that he can shoot a target recommends him as a great lover. We'll get Freudian here, and substitute ejaculate for bullets. The target. . . clitoral, G-spot--take your pick. Donna Summers here we come.
My conclusion: men can be pretty gullible, at times. Some men, most of the time. I'm sure no Ranger readers are in this gulled category, however.
Addendum: After it is was pointed out to him that he was not raised in all reader's eyes by the inclusion of this post, Ranger took his nose out of the latest Blue Press long enough to say, "I hope everyone knew I was just pointing out how absurd these ads are." Noted.
ed.
ed.
Labels: guns and ammo ad
posted by rangeragainstwar at 6:04 PM
12 Comments:
Ranger surprises me here... I didn't take him for someone who would be entertained by this sort of advertising... not that there's anything wrong wtih that. :)
the AK is damned fine weapon already. simple to operate and maintain, after action inoperable weapons are simple to cannibalize and strip parts to make into working weapons. if you have access to a decent blacksmith operation and a reasonable amount of skill fabrication is possible under extreme conditions. the rate of fire more than compensates for the lack of accuracy at range, and also compensates for the smaller impact of more modern weapons.
if they came with tall blondes it would simply be the perfect combat armament.
d.k.,
It doesn't surprise me one jot.
For all his military thinkin', he's still a Ranger, and is predictably entertained.
--Lisa
Ah, the Ak's and tall blondes are a pretty good combination but I'm partial to a redhead with a pair of 45's!
It's a good piece - errr, the AK I mean. I have no solid interest in tall blondes in fur hats because I happen to think PETA is right about animal fur.
She does have really nice errr teeth, though, doesn't she?
And as Minstrelboy notes, the AK is the gift that keeps on giving.
What Lisa said.
Part of the Plan,
Thank you. I believe rationality is running 2:3 on this post.
I'd like to think that those who haven't replied have just hung their heads in disappointment (or are simply pre-verbal.)
Lurch: You are right on PETA.
MB: Yes, militias the world over are grateful for the cheap AK.
You boys think it's harmless fun? Between the boobs and the heels, that poor girl is doomed to endless back problems. Hopefully this gig pays decently so she can afford physical therapy.
kootenay,
Your compassion is noted. Thankfully for her back, gravity takes it toll, and her modeling gig will be a short one.
I just heard from a friend this week on what the life of a typical model looks like: recompensed well in their heyday; a trove of pictures which they can later hang as calling cards, and, provided they take up the health supplement schtick, throughout life a stream of male takers (age-appropriate) who are pleased to be with a former model. Not bad, all in all.
Hmm, given that these kinds of ads are aimed at people with short penises who wish they could get girls who looked like the models (the whole premise of the ad is, "if you buy our AK-47 penis extension, you'll have such a big penis that models like this one will just THROW themselves at you!"), it does surprise me that Ranger would give more than a "meh, another gun ad" look. Of course, he could have just been looking at the model and not the penis extension. Let me look at the ad again to test that hypothesis, hmm....
badtux,
If you buy into the psychological theory that many men are developmentally arrested at the point at which they join the service, then Ranger has never progressed beyond this, his iconic woman of age 22.
I feel it shall ever be, and Guns & Ammo will kindly oblige him.
badtux, you missed the key point in the ad. The short stubby muzzle break. That's really what i want; i'm considering running for the Senate.. jim
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