eDisharmony.com
As a former military officer, he is a hardened,
realistic person who lives in a fortified apartment
with an arsenal of weapons including a Smith & Wesson M76
submachine gun, an infrared-equipped
Browning Automatic Rifle and satchel charges
--The Omega Man (1971)
Mr. Duffy lived
a short distance from his body
--Dubliners, James Joyce
Call a Ranger,
When you absolutely need it destroyed overnight
--Poster
To thine own self be true
--Hamlet, Shakespeare
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
--Love is a Battlefield, Pat Benatar
_____________
realistic person who lives in a fortified apartment
with an arsenal of weapons including a Smith & Wesson M76
submachine gun, an infrared-equipped
Browning Automatic Rifle and satchel charges
--The Omega Man (1971)
Mr. Duffy lived
a short distance from his body
--Dubliners, James Joyce
Call a Ranger,
When you absolutely need it destroyed overnight
--Poster
To thine own self be true
--Hamlet, Shakespeare
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
--Love is a Battlefield, Pat Benatar
_____________
We hope that you have enjoyed a happy Dies Natalis Solis Invicti. Ranger is on the road and Lisa is recovering from a wicked cold, so we will be back to regular postings after the New Year. For the interim, some musings.
Ranger recently met an executive from the Maine potato country who was traveling through Florida on his way to meet his new sweetie, courtesy eHarmony.com. Musing upon this fellow's happy happenstance, Ranger opined that the site might be a fertile area for his exploration. However, when Lisa suggested that he ought not foist himself upon members seeking, well, harmony, he agreed.
Being an idea guy and knowing himself well-enough, he proposed the idea of a sister site, eDisharmony.com. A place which would welcome those who are at home with dissention and would like to dispense with all of the usual drivel (as they see it) of long conversations and walks on the beach. This would be a site for the hook-up crowd.
The audience would be those who wish to dispense with sly suggestions about seeking "possible long-term relationships." Neurotic, narcissistic, borderlines are welcome. Even drama queens are good for a few rodeos.
At eDisharmony, one could state the non-negotiable length of relationship sought. These hook-ups would have a built-in self-destruct button, depending upon one's particular constellation of neuroses. After all, almost anyone can be a success in the three-month range.
It would be a breath of fresh air for the "Sneaky Petes" and cougars of the world, unabashed superficiality and short-term relationships being the catch words. It would offer a level of honesty beyond that of any current dating sites for those who are sincerely insincere. The subtitle would be, "No Soul, but a Whole Lotta Me."
Sample questions:
- Is your argumentative style more aggressive or retreating?
- Do you prefer to sulk or cry?
- Do you prefer to leave your mate wondering to where you have disappeared, or to subject them to endless harangues?
- Are you masochist or sadist?
- Do you prefer to shout and berate your mate, or molder in silent discontent and revenge fantasies?
No need for lying here. The site would include a "Me Meter," where one could register one's requirements (measurements, coloration, etc.) No need for exaggeration or false humility. You do not accept the "person beneath the skin." Appearance is the thing.
What do you say when you are beyond sunsets, cooking together, shows, fishing and beaches? What is left? Dissention! Power plays! Cannibalism. Ultimately, isolation. "Between the desire/And the spasm" falls the shadow, as T.S. Eliot, your poet laureate, dismally declared.
eDisharmony would eliminate the veneer or civility. Those with multiple divorces win bonus points.
Ultimately, Ranger decided the questionnaire process would be too onerous, require too much effort and be more self-revelatory than he would wish for.
Back to the drawing board.
Labels: dating in the new millenium, eDisharmony.com, how to date for difficult people, how to gain the honest hook-up
posted by Lisa at 11:07 AM
13 Comments:
How about a site to compare past disasters? I can think of two or three which were bad, but I'm sure there are others out there who could relate even worse encounters. Bonus points if married multiple times to the same kind of person as the one divorced, or if the E.R. was involved in the break up.
once, in response to my mother's describing me as "her weed in the garden of matrimony," yet again, and overhearing her explain to a friend of hers "he just hasn't found the right woman yet."
i blurted.
"Mom, I'm ALWAYS finding the right woman. That's why I'm not married. OK?"
and that's why this idea just might make millions mb. ; )
i guess there's something to be said for a whole lot of rights as opposed to one"you made your bed..." wrong.
your mom's cool!
it is what it is.
"I'm tired of waiting for Ms. Right. I'm looking for Ms. Right Now..."
Marc,
You are onto something here with the "multiple times married to the same (or same type) of person."
In real life, this propensity might spell "loser," or "oblivious." On eDisharmony, it would tell you exactly who you could kick it with immediately, and for what limited amount of time it could be bearable.
As for Chief and MB, I'm getting the idea that there are certain men for whom hitting it is quite o.k. I would like to think present company excepted (save for Ranger.)
Marc,
You're not allowed allowed to reveal past disasters in the question portion. You save that for the foreplay on the first date.
The only thing that qualifies you for is a repeat customer membership discount.
All who live in Aroostook County, Maine (potato country) are in harmony. Why does this so-called exec need a Floridian wife? And since when are executives needed on potato farms. Oh well - times have changed - I guess even heaven has turned to corporate agribusiness.
Will he take this Florida girl back home to experience Norumbegan Nirvana? She may not stay if they return in January. He needs to break her in easy during July and August.
Mike,
Your analysis skills need honing. I do not know if she is Floridian, but only that she currently resides here. The entire state is filled with carpetbaggers; she's probably Canadian if she's in S. FL.
Next, being as I'm the progenitor of the idea for eDisharmony, it comes to my mind that the gent may not be looking to transplant this honey. He may simply need his helmet polished. She is certain not to drop in casually if she lives in S. FL, eh?
He was in the wood industry, not potato, FYI.
As one who's been called an old hound dog by Ranger this site, eDisharmony.com, seems like a no brainer for me.
I can almost see the ad.
If you call within the next 15 minutes, we'll include, absolutely free, a package of 12 novelty condomes for your amusement and pleasure!
tw,
While I am a bit crestfallen that you'd fall in with Ranger at eDisharmony, at least you maintain a sense of humor about it :)
I love the idea of the 15 min. hustle. No need for deliberation in these short-term scenarios, eh? Ranger says the prophylactics are to be camo and no-frills -- does he fancy the Ranger training will prove scintillating enough to keep their attention (?)
A polished knob is what every Norumbegan strives for, hence my Nirvana comment.
As a traveller for Uncle Sam, I consider myself a resident of at least three states other than my home Down East. So if this lady resides in Florida, does that not make her a resident Floridian regardless of her POB???? I consider you a Floridian but think you came from points North.
As for e-disHarmony, perhaps I am a candidate. But I have had enough of dissonance in the last eight years.
Mike,
edisHarmony would strictly be the refuge for gamers, egoists and unsavory hedonists. If you do not relish the kick to be had from engaging in distancing dissonance, I am glad to say you would not be a candidate.
Well I own the domain name EDisharmony.com at any rate, stay tuned for some work there coming soon!
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