RANGER AGAINST WAR: When I'm 64: Lessons <

Sunday, March 14, 2010

When I'm 64: Lessons

He'd like to have a gun just to keep him warm
Because violence here is a social norm

You've got to humanize yourself

--Rehumanize Yourself
, The Police

I wanna talk about me

Wanna talk about I

Wanna talk about number one

--I Wanna Talk About Me
, Toby Kieth

Honesty is such a lonely word

Everyone is so untrue

--Honesty
, Billy Joel
_______________

So what have I learned after 64 years of living? Here are my lessons:


  • Never trust a thin-lipped woman
  • Always plan your escape route
  • Always have a gun within reasonable distance
  • Never pick up women in a bar. Coffee shops are permissable, if a waiver is granted
  • Always wear your poncho
  • Avoid giving advice on emotional topics. Stick to facts
  • Listen to the sub-text rather than the words
  • You can start rumors, but never listen to them
  • Never lie (unless it helps your career.)
  • Never bad-mouth associates (unless it helps your career)
  • Most of what you hear is self-serving at best; lies, at worst
  • Never eat in a restaurant called "Mom's"
  • Never eat in a restaurant with pictures on the menu
  • Never eat in a restaurant that was once a gas station
  • Do not trust unreasonable people
  • Do not trust reasonable people
  • Never commit all of your assets; always maintain a reserve
  • Maintain the chain of command (except when it's necessary to ignore the chain of command)
  • Cut the sears on all your weapons for a clean, crisp break
  • Keep a good stock weld on your rifle
  • Breathe and relax before you fire
  • Never use violence, unless you have to
  • Always leave a crummy movie, regardless of the reviews
  • Remain silent
  • Never buy a car from a guy named "Preacher"
  • Don't tell people what to do -- tell them what you are going to do
  • Don't over-supervise
  • Don't mistake movement for progress

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9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha!

Never trust a thin lipped woman.....that is one my father used to preach to me. I used to think it was based on some quirky, one off personal bad experience that he must have had, but then I came to see the truth of it and I ended up passing it on to my own son.

I believed we were the only people that had that wisdom.

avedis

Sunday, March 14, 2010 at 5:26:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Publius said...

You've learned a lot, Ranger. Haven't we all, eh? Three of my favorite life lessons:

Henry Ford:

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it."

John Wayne:

"Life is hard. It's even harder when you're stupid."

And then there's this:

"Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me."

Sunday, March 14, 2010 at 6:42:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

one of the guiding principles of the teams:

It is always easier to obtain forgiveness than permission.

Forgiveness comes quickly when it works.

Sunday, March 14, 2010 at 7:06:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous barcalounger said...

So, do you feel "old" or just "older"? It sounds as though you've learned a lot along life's route. Richard Pryor said you don't get to be an old man by being a fool.

Sunday, March 14, 2010 at 7:18:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

oh, and i almost forgot...

begin every fight at the level of apeshit. be prepared to escalate should that be required.

fortune favors the bold.
it also noticably shortens their life expectancy.

Monday, March 15, 2010 at 2:49:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...

MB,


"Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now"

--William Hutchinson Murray, Scottish mountaineer

Monday, March 15, 2010 at 10:58:00 AM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"begin every fight at the level of apeshit. be prepared to escalate should that be required.'

Sound advice. A SEAL thing? Brings back a memory.

I was enrolled in a hand to hand combat class with a SEAL, Todd (became a rep for a bullet proof vest manufacturer after he got, but I soon lost track of him).

Such a polite, clean cut quiet young man. But when the whislte blew and the sparring started he became something else entirely; a tornado of destructive fist, feet, knees, elbows....the level of intensity was completely overwhelming to his opponent.

We were all reasonably tough and proficient fighters, but Todd with his shifting into apeshit overdrive in the blink of an eye was in a whole other league.

And we were all friends. I can't even imagine what he'd be like if facing an actual enemy.

avedis

Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 5:41:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

Avedis,
Both you and MB point out an area of concern.
There is not an in between gear in combat vets. This is why so many are over controlled.
With a horse you can see it coming, not so with vets.This is not a criticism ,but rather a fact.
jim

Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 9:19:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Terrible said...

Good lessons all!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 1:08:00 PM GMT-5  

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